This day has been looming over me for the past month. Every time I would begin writing, I would stop. Writer’s block. My mind would drift to this date. Today was Everett’s cardiology appointment. They hadn’t looked at his heart in six months. That’s the longest stretch we have ever gone.
Needless to say, I was feeling a bit anxious. In fact, yesterday, I landed a midday migraine that I can most likely attribute to my anxiety for this appointment and, earlier this week, I randomly burst into tears on the phone with my mom dreading this day.
To ease all of my relatives reading this, the appointment, overall, went well. But, we did hit a snag. Everett’s heart is not perfect. It never will be. After the surgery, there were still a couple problems with his heart that we have been watching. One of those things has worsened over the last six months, but, because he is not having any symptoms, we wait. Things very likely could resolve on its own, or, it could become worse. It’s just a waiting game.
When I spoke to my parents about the appointment, they both told me this was something to celebrate. This baffled me. Sure, we didn’t receive news that another surgery was imminent, but we also didn’t receive the all clear. I didn’t really understand how I could rejoice. But, tonight, it hit me. Everett’s entire life will be a “wait and see” game. And, that’s a harsh reality for a Momma.
We have to celebrate the good news as it comes and not drown in the bad. Today our heart warrior is thriving and strong. There’s no sense in living in fear. He certainly doesn’t. Everett takes this world by storm. He is more daring than I knew a child to be. He meets every obstacle with a grin. Nothing stands in his way.
My child is strong. He is a fighter. And, I have a lot to learn from him.