After marriage, when just us two turns to baby makes three… and then four, it doesn’t take long before an unforeseen transformation occurs. And, you probably don’t even notice at first.
An art is lost. The art of communication and appreciation. The simple gesture of holding hands, sharing a moment or a meaningful kiss become buried under everything else, much like that rogue sock at the bottom of the laundry basket that never quite makes it to the washing machine. Everybody acknowledges that being a parent is tough. But, being a parent AND spouse is really hard.
My husband and I had our first full night completely to ourselves last night since E was born. The kiddos were shipped to the grandparents’ house for the night, and we finally had a chance to have a night on the town and then SLEEP. (And, I’m not talking about the kind full of restless babies or toddler’s feet in your face that us mothers have affectionately labeled sleep. I’m talking beautiful, glorious sleep. But, that’s beside the point.) It was an odd realization last night to drive about with two empty car seats in the back. There was stillness. A silence. Nobody to focus on but each other. How quickly that is taken for granted before children.
As we drove, my husband did something he hasn’t done in ages. We turned on “our” music, and, then, he gently reached his hand into mine, smiled at me as we made connection, and continued to drive. With our two hands joined, we sat together, enjoying one another, sharing a conversation and soaking in this rare occasion. And, I’m reminded that we need this. It’s okay to leave the children with a babysitter sometimes… especially more than once a month 😉 We are not just parents. We are husband and wife, and that should not be stuffed beneath the bed alongside those pesky mismatched socks. After all, we did love each other first, and we want to continue loving one another to end.